Building self-compassion in adulthood can be a challenge when there’s been a lifetime of negative self-talk. Many people notice a common pattern: difficulty offering themselves comfort and excessive relying on external reassurance. Schema Therapy links these difficulties accessing self-compassion to early experiences where emotional support, attunement, or validation were limited or inconsistent. When a child does not receive enough emotional soothing during their early years, they may...

If you've ever felt genuinely worried that your emotions might overwhelm you, or that if you started feeling things you wouldn't be able to stop, then this post is for you. In Schema Therapy, emotions aren’t seen as problems to get rid of. Instead, they’re treated as important signals about your unmet needs, especially those rooted in earlier experiences. A key goal in Schema Therapy is strengthening a part of you known as the 'Healthy Adult' mode. This is the part that helps you understand,...

In Part 1, we looked at the idea that all children have core emotional needs, and what can happen when those needs aren’t met in a “good enough” way. In this post, we’re shifting the focus to adulthood—specifically, how those early experiences can impact your ability to recognise your needs, and what it looks like to begin getting them met. If you’re doing Schema Therapy, it’s likely you’re hearing the word “needs” a lot. But for many people, when it comes to their own life, it can feel...